So I'm totally drooling over Spock with a pal the other day. There's a pause and he says: "That's the ultimate bromance, man." And I open my mouth to agree when something hits me: a bromance? Like a brother-romance? The pinnacle of male homosocial relationships? That which is copiously referenced in How I Met Your Mother? Enough with the rhetorical questions already, I hear you say. A bromance is, to the uninitiated, the ultimate in man bonding. It is the closest that straight men will ever come to in their dealings with other men. It is the equivalent of a straight-male marriage, the BFF-ship to end all BFF-ships. And the examples abound: JD and Turk (Scrubs), Kirk and Spock (Star Trek), Starsky and Hutch (duh), Harry and Ron (Harry Potter), hell even Jerry and George (Seinfeld). But hang on, a bromance is a term confined to brothers, a synonym for the universal fraternity house to which all men magically belong. It's exclusively a male rapport.
Am I missing something here?
What about womance? Females share the same kind of bond, the same Three Musketeers code of friendship and the same sense of camaraderie that men do. Personal example: my two fellow bloggers and superheroines extraordinaire, Ab and Org. When we hang (and I'm mocked for this seemingly obsolete turn of phrase), I've always gotten the feeling that anything I said or did would be tolerated, protected, ridiculed to my face but never before anyone else and would actually be paid attention to with a deep mix of affection, love and the willingness to look past my many flaws. Isn't that what a bromance is? I can even crack completely inappropriate, ribald girl jokes with my coterie, rounded up by at least four other equally awesome ladies, exchange borderline romantic rejoinders and have everything accepted without excuses and apologies. There are of course traits absent in male friendships which exist in female ones, not to mention a special type of humour that women can share only with other women. I cannot be the only girl who feels this way with her gang. All women must surely respond the same way to their best friends, their femily.
And yet, one hardly hears a whisper of this in the mainstream media. Are there any truly enduring examples of female friendships in TV, books and movies? This question is the second part to the one asking where female bonding is honestly represented in all its glorious, kaleidoscopic brilliance. We have at least a million films talking about men and their friendships, - drunk, sober or high, adolescent or adult, straight or gay, black or white or brown or yellow - and practically none about female love. Don't say Thelma and Louise. I'm talking about a movie that doesn't have to end with the leads dying (*yawn* 19 year old spoiler alert), in yet another woeful dirge to female existence. I'm talking about an all-girl The Hangover or Superbad. There's no real reason why McLovin has to be a dude. Juno was probably one film that came close to hinting at that kind of youthful , 21st century affection when it showed Juno and her best friend discussing her impeding pregnancy (a quintessential girl thing).
So when will men wipe off their smug, sexist little smirks belying their belief in the fact that the only time women get together is to claw each other's fur? It's patent bullshit. And when will women get off their backsides and write awesome scripts about a group of women going on loco adventures, having illegal fun and strengthening their girl-love all the 90 minute way in? A chick flick that out-legendaries guy buddy comedies is what I'm talking about.
What say?
Am I missing something here?
What about womance? Females share the same kind of bond, the same Three Musketeers code of friendship and the same sense of camaraderie that men do. Personal example: my two fellow bloggers and superheroines extraordinaire, Ab and Org. When we hang (and I'm mocked for this seemingly obsolete turn of phrase), I've always gotten the feeling that anything I said or did would be tolerated, protected, ridiculed to my face but never before anyone else and would actually be paid attention to with a deep mix of affection, love and the willingness to look past my many flaws. Isn't that what a bromance is? I can even crack completely inappropriate, ribald girl jokes with my coterie, rounded up by at least four other equally awesome ladies, exchange borderline romantic rejoinders and have everything accepted without excuses and apologies. There are of course traits absent in male friendships which exist in female ones, not to mention a special type of humour that women can share only with other women. I cannot be the only girl who feels this way with her gang. All women must surely respond the same way to their best friends, their femily.
And yet, one hardly hears a whisper of this in the mainstream media. Are there any truly enduring examples of female friendships in TV, books and movies? This question is the second part to the one asking where female bonding is honestly represented in all its glorious, kaleidoscopic brilliance. We have at least a million films talking about men and their friendships, - drunk, sober or high, adolescent or adult, straight or gay, black or white or brown or yellow - and practically none about female love. Don't say Thelma and Louise. I'm talking about a movie that doesn't have to end with the leads dying (*yawn* 19 year old spoiler alert), in yet another woeful dirge to female existence. I'm talking about an all-girl The Hangover or Superbad. There's no real reason why McLovin has to be a dude. Juno was probably one film that came close to hinting at that kind of youthful , 21st century affection when it showed Juno and her best friend discussing her impeding pregnancy (a quintessential girl thing).
So when will men wipe off their smug, sexist little smirks belying their belief in the fact that the only time women get together is to claw each other's fur? It's patent bullshit. And when will women get off their backsides and write awesome scripts about a group of women going on loco adventures, having illegal fun and strengthening their girl-love all the 90 minute way in? A chick flick that out-legendaries guy buddy comedies is what I'm talking about.
What say?
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Hey you raise a valid point here!Come to think of it,the concept of female friendship is hardly ever portrayed in a realistic vein.But you know what,this may seem crazy,but there was this Mahesh Kothare[one of the highly regarded Marathi directors]film about three married Marathi women letting their hair down and going out to seek adventure leaving their husbands in the lurch.It is,I think,the film which most approximates itself to the ideal elucidated by you!
ReplyDeleteHey, thanks a ton for the recommendation. I'll be sure to check it out. Could you give me the name of the film?
ReplyDelete