Well, well, Wadia know...?

FUN FACT: In what can only be described as a shocking fuck-you to the Dewey Decimal System, Fergusson's (in)famous Wadia Library has a dirty little secret: a filing drawer labelled Ass-Bag. True story. Go check it out if you don't believe me. It's on the left as you enter. In bold, black letters.

Who the hell is in charge of this??

On the topic, I must plug our tres awesome librarian, Prof. Kamble. Who is so the shizzle that it's physically impossible to not be affected by his shizzle-ness within a 2 m radius. Be not fooled by his less-than-a-metre height. He is The Man to unman all other men, believe you me. Mild mannered Marathi manoos by day, supreme leader of the new world order by night. As far as conspiracy theories go, this seems about right. Within the labyrinthine annals of that big, decrepit building is housed the secretest society of geekzillas set to inherit the world. And Prof. Kamble is their master, commander and Yoda to their Lukes.

He even has a sidekick, that mousy little man who jumps to attention the moment Prof. K snaps his fingers. This chap knows every nook, cranny and crevice of that goddamned library. I've never seen him so much as blink when zipping to 'Buddhist Philosophy 300-320' or wherever. I've never seen him speak and if you so much as talk back to Kamble, a look of murderous rage appears on his face, like he's gonna hunt you down within these walls and bury you underneath a stack of books in the Sanskrit section, so even your bones won't be discovered.

Look, all I'm saying is: when the aliens invade the earth, I want Prof. Kamble on my side. He's not the librarian but the Librarian, attended to by the faithful Bookworm. He knows all, sees all and preserves all. Not just books but ancient wisdom now remaining only in the dusty backshelves of Wadia Library. I would not want to mess with him. I suggest you keep conversation to the barest minimum, do your business and get outta there pronto. Don't mention 'termites' at any point or you'll find that was the last thing you said in the sunny part of the library. Keep focussed on his plaid shirt and be nice to the Bookworm.

Ye have been warned.

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AND VOTE THE HELL OUT FOR ME.